an unholy hour.

Though it may not be obvious to those of you who have never met me, i have relapsed. I once was quiet motivated. I woke up early. I didn't head head straight for the computer. I even opened the window and let the warm sunlight in. Those day are long gone. Now i simple cant sleep, so i spend my time surfing the web, only to find meaning less time wasters. well, now it's time. I'm using this blog to hopefully hold me accountable. this blog is my faceless name less nag-less (hopefully)accountability partner.

Today, i gathered together all my lose magazine pages that i have collected over the years, and am currently in the long boring process of filling them and organizing them to create the perfect handbook of everything I as a woman want and need to know. containing everything from Beauty, heath, home decorating, tips for every day life and even those encouraging articles that help to boost your self esteem and let you know that your not alone.... yeah i read those ones a lot. So at least for tonight, i felt like i accomplished something. Small goals right? well that's what this was for me, a small victory. Hopefully more of those to come...hopefully

much love

Emily

yum.

I have taken up cooking. reading over some of my old blogs i realized i misspelled my name. I've had a busy day. My dog is laying next to my making odd sounds as she sleeps. i want bologna, but sadly we are out. I want a hug, but suddenly people are gone. summery, I love my life. i wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm not going to go watch TV thank you internet world. sleep well

LOVE EMILY

in need of a chocolate cake!

Ignoring my blog i can honestly say has only brought disappointment in my own mind. i have been having a lack of inspiration the past few months thanks to TV and the ever popular internet. well i say "NO MORE!" last night i began to clean my room. the cleaner it is the more focused i become. I've started a fast from most of my stuff, since i am to attached to just throw it away which is the first of my problems, but it is a problem i can box away and forget about for a year or two as long as i don't fill that void with more stuff ( which I'm not planning on doing). Well I'm off to bake a cake. I've never been a big fan of baking, cooking or whatever else there is, but i just feel a calling to it today. i hope i don't burn my house down. later and marry christmas

LOVE EMILY

small highlights from my messed up day

never did i think i would hear the harsh words of someone hated hypocrisy as much as me, yet there it was. alot of " you hypocrites" for a guy who's all about the love he wasn't to afraid to tell it like it is in a way so advanced you probably  wouldn't even know he was talking about you.

what and interesting day. pouring a small part of my heart out to someone who says they care but shows as much care as an Amish woman shows ankle. ( see i can make amish jokes and they wont even notice cause its the internet lol) kidding. i love the Amish. they live in the hardest ways yet they make it so simple, i love it.  ANYWAYS poured my heart out about how heart broken i was by the way people had treated me, and it only made me feel worse when this person never say anything near " well i made you feel hurt in any way I'm sorry" nope all i got was an " well people DO care about you" people can care about me till the cows come home honey, but if I'm in such a bad place in my life that i'm so upset i cant see that, maybe your not caring enough, cause all you do is walk around telling those who are fine that they're perfect. why don't we as the body reach out to those who haven't heard the good news? and encourage and  strengthen those who have heard the good news but need a little help along the way. doing more than just acting like your perfect and if you don't act the same way God probably wont let you in to heaven.    

 News flash. we can have faith to move mountains, we can speak in the tongues of men and of angels, we can sell everything we have and give it to the poor, we can work miracles and all kinda of prophecies, BUT if we don't have love, it's nothing!

spread the love to those how need it, dont just save it all up for yourself

spread the love to those who need to hear it, even if that means you dont feel any at all. trust me it's hard but at least you know your living it out the way we where told to.

             Emiyl

1984

after turning my room in to what would seem to be a peaceful zen place for me to meditate, and spent some quiet time with the one i love most. i worked out for 34 minutes while watch that 70s show, the felt the need to reenter my room, and write. after getting distracted my what mau just be my new obsession on youtube, i told my self to" knock it off! " cause it's time to blog. i feel like no one reads this, which bums me alittle. i mean i dont expect people to really care, but it would be nice to know im not just typing to a blank world of nothingness filled with people who's lives are so chaotic that they cant just take a second and breath some fresh air and look up at the clouds. on saturday i was reminiscing with a friend about the book 1984 written by george orwell, and i was thinking how true so many of his points where. how many people just live their lives doing what they are told? and who is telling us what to do? the government? a little. society. a bit. but how much of what we live is really in OUR HANDS? from my point of view, and my beliefs as a follower of christ. God gave us life, and gave us free will to do whatever we want in life. and we can choose to live for him. or live for ourself. those tho choose to live for themselves, overtime get in a habit. go to work. eat. read. talk. go home. eat. watch tv. spend some time with the spouse. brush teeth. go to bed. repeat. over all that life seams dreary to me, no point even. but living my life for some one who gave their life FOR me, sound like more of a dreary thing to do. but it never gets old. as my life for hims moves forward, it seams so much more fulfilling than the life i led for my own enjoyment. there's not a dull moment, not a moment with our hope, joy, eternal love, and comfort knowing WHATEVER happens he will take care of me. i thank God for my life. im gonna live it to the fullest. how about you?

child of the king 

Emily

understanding

take time out of your day some time and stare intently at a used up old napkin, think of it's feelings, how hurt it must be. understand that napkin? i sure do. the world is a cruel, but at least a i have a few great friends to pull me thru, with out them.... well i don't know where id be

thank you

love worthless piece of trash girl

a day in the life of a world of chances...

You've got a face for a smile, you know
A shame you waste it
When you're breaking me slowly but Ive

Got a world of chances, for you
I've got a world of chances, for you
I've got a world of chances
Chances that you're burning through

I've got a paper and pen
I go to write a goodbye
And thats when I know I've

Got a world of chances, for you
I've got a world of chances, for you
I've got a world of chances
Chances that you're burning through...

such a true song. Don't you hate it when you give someone so many chances and they just keep repeating the same crime? What can you do? well I find songs :)

God is good,
Taylor