is anybody out there? by Emily

The first day of the rest of my life. Such a cliche, but it's true, especially about today. Today is the first day of my first year of motivation. I've never been good at self motivation, but i am motivated to change that.

As I sit her wearing my high waisted blue jeans and decyfer down t-shirt, I ask myself what makes me think any one could care to read about me? The only conclusion I have come to, is that this blog is for me, to keep me accountable, and help me understand who I am, and who i want to become. Any one who takes the time to read this is is risking the chance of being swept up in a mad cloud of crazy, that is my thoughts. I don't know how this plan of motivation is going to turn out, whether it end badly or with a pleasant surprise. I'm sticking with my plans, starting with the cleaning of my living space. It's  hard job to turn it in to the place i want to spend most of my time, but it desperately needs to be done. Though the thought of getting up and cleaning everything off of the floor is sickening enough to make me want to crawl in to bed hiding under the blankets an convince my self Im to sick to clean. It has to be done. And i know i have the power to do it. it funny how, when you dont have the power to do something, you want to. when you do infact have the power, you no longer want to. it puzzles me. let me spend tome time cleaning and thinking about it. ill get back to you with my latest conclusion. good-bye for now

Emily