what if....

as I sit here on my bed, happy that for as little work as I put in on my room it is finally clean enough for me to sew. but there is so much more buzzing around inside me head, random thoughts that tease my attention away from things that matter. I wonder what I would do if one day I awoke in the middle of the night and I found my bedroom walls where bleeding, and then began to speak! I would like to believe that my bedroom walls would be friendly seeing as I've been nothing but good to them over all these years, but I cant help but wonder. 

 getting my thoughts back in order seem to be a tough task. one i have to do all to often, you'd think by now id been good at it. As long as i spent cleaning my room or off playing a video game i couldn't seem to get my mind off this blog. I've always thought my self a fairly good writer, after all i enjoy reading what I've written. I think would my life would be like as a writer, where would i work? How would i do? Would i get fired quickly? I've always enjoyed writing, ever since i could write, id been off writing stories, books tales, though never good enough to get published. 

Sometimes i wish someone out there would read this, someone to see the things I have written and tell me that i have what it takes, that they want me to write something that they could show there publisher, some that that would make my life maybe just a bit more meaningful, a little more useful to someone else out there. sometimes i just feel like I'm all alone, living on a one sided laptop screen, writing to audience of none, just waiting to hear an echo that will never come. bringing my back to my original question. is anybody out there? and just at the moment a second wind of hope sweeps through me, i keep my typing fast, even if it's just to i can hear the wonderful sound of keys being hit, it's almost as if a orchestra was in my room with me, only instead of a symphony of sounds all i hear is my keys creating a masterpiece in my mind, and on my screen. 

this is what inspires me

this is what i live for

this is Emily